Around town

I really got my act together this morning. I dropped the boys off at school, went to the police station in the city to apply for a police record check (one of the requirements to be able to help in LAP), had blood drawn for my 6 monthly checkup on Tuesday and got to the shops before 9.15am. I think I was home before 10.30am. Mind you, the day fell apart a bit after that.

On my travels, I have noticed that there are still election posters attached to light poles around the suburbs – the election was the best part of 2 weeks ago. In our area, the “offenders” are “The Greens”. I find it ironic as they purport to protect the environment, perhaps that doesn’t extend to visual pollution. Come to think of it, I think Mark Parnell’s face is still peering down from the odd light pole. If they weren’t so high up, I’d be tempted to get a texta out and give him a makeover.


Tuesday 30 March 2004

I’m still groggy and a bit nauseus, given jab in the right leg after dry retching. Had a bed pan, but couldn’t go.

My surgeon came in while I’m having a bit of breakfast. Ate cornflakes, 1 piece of toast with butter and 125ml OJ.

He says everything went well. Removed tumour and some lymph nodes and probably a wider margin than usual. Some hardness in breast and a couple of nodes, but may be because of recent breastfeeding. We won’t know pathology results until late Wednesday (36 hours) – in public it would take 5 days.

I’m in for a rest day today.

I felt dizzy and nauseus and brought up all my breakfast. I got anti-nausea drugs into my drip.

DH and J drop in after leaving H at school – they don’t stay long.

Mum and Dad arrive but I’m sleepy. They bring a lovely arrangement of pale pink tulips. I’m not very talkative – the anaesthetic and anti-nausea drugs make me sleep most of the day. Flowers arrive from school staff (bright tulips) and theh people DH does work for (yellow double gerberas).

Had some soup and fish for lunch.

DH dropped the boys off at around 3.40pm so he can do to his exercise ECG. The boys are fairly well behaved. Mum and Dad take them to the patient lounge for a while.

DH comes back about 5.15/5.30 says all went well and that the pain is a shoulder thing.

The boys are a bit confused as to why I’m here and why I’m not coming home with them, but they’re OK. I’m still very sleepy and tired and only really awake for about 30 mins at a time.

Dinner arrives. Vegetable soup is almost cold and not appetising. Had a little lamb from “lamb hotpot” and a piece of plain bread.

Have had a jug of cordial through the day and get another after dinner.

Got up for toilet and shower after breakfast. Had help with shower. Drip was removed before shower as was oxygen. Went to the toilet 3 times during the day. The other gel was removed too.

Half watch a little TV, but turn it all off before 9pm, put in earplugs and go to sleep. Woke up at 12.30am thinking it was 6am, than again at 2.30 and 4am, after which I stayed awake.

Just leave your credit card at the door on the way in

The school uniform shop cleaned out my purse today. It’s a bit of a standing joke around here. When my brother visits, he invariably wants some gadget or other (or several) and we end up emptying out his wallet. A friend of DH’s has started doing the same thing, the poor guy sees one thing, then another, etc and he just can’t help himself. Oh well, it’s a good way to clear some space and H might eventually get his own room!

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. With only another 2 and a bit weeks of Term 1 to go, it was time to sort out winter uniforms for the boys. The only thing left now is black shoes for H, which I’ll sort out during the holidays, in hope that I can allow for any more foot growth between now and then. It will be interesting to see whether he has size 4 or 5 (like his sport shoes) – I’m thinking size 5. Why does my just turned 7 year old have to have such big feet?

Today marks the 2nd anniversary of my first surgery, Wide Local Exicision and Axillary Clearance. I’m still a little emotional about it, not about losing a breast, but the whole breast cancer thing. These anniversaries are getting a little easier, but I think they’ll affect me for a while to come.


Monday 29 March 2004

J has woke EARLY and wouldn’t settle back to sleep.

We got the show on the road with H to school. He is very excited about Daddy picking him up and looking after him.

Two teachers gave me a card which brought tears to my eyes.

11.15ish – off to hospital. Book in and wait. Up to ward (share room) and wait.

J is fairly well behaved. Gave him ½ vegemite baguette, 2 cheese sticks and 1 fruit stick.

BP, weight, temp, heart rate done at around 12.30pm.

The nurse went through what to expect afterwards.

1.30pm Anaesthetist came in to fill in the necessary paperwork and tell me what to expect after surgery. I can eat whenever I feel up to it.

Get ready around 3.30pm.

Probably take 1.5 hours in surgery from around 4-4.30pm. So now we wait – the story of the last 2 weeks.

Wrote a little letter to H. Phoned DH to let him know what is going on (for now).

15.05pm shower, shave legs and armpits.

16.10pm – shot to prevent clots in legs – right thigh.

Taken to the waiting area for Theatre at around 6.45pm – 1st floor. Then into theatre at about 7pm. Reminds me of what an execution room may look like (by lethal injection).

My surgeon says this is the worst bit. I’m a bit upset and teary. They set up the drip in my right wrist. I get a little woosey, then I’m out. He will phone DH when I come out of surgery.

In the recovery room, I’m feeling rather dopey. There are several others in there, most go and 1 more comes in. I find it hard to open my eyes and keep them open. Concentration is not a strong point at this time.

Can’t remember whether it’s 8.05 or 9.05pm the 1st time I look at the clock. I’m not that helpful to the recovery nurse. I have a bit of pain in my armpit (like a screwdriver being shoved in). I opt for pain relief in recovery rather than back in my room. I have to stay there to check for any reaction.

10.10pm Back to my room. 1 hourly obs. I put earplugs in and only wake for 1-2 obs. I’d asked them to phone DH to let them know what’s happening.

Bloody hot flushes!

I’m tired of not being able to enjoy a cup of coffee, “hot” food, a gin and tonic or glass of wine, without going into fully fledged multiple hot flushes and all they entail.

I hate that I can’t even sweep the front verandah or the floors without looking (and feeling) like a freshly cooked beetroot.

I hate sweat oozing out of my scalp, running down my face (or back) and dripping off the end of my nose or my chin. This occurs with the absolute minimum of effort. Mowing the lawn is a virtual impossibility (unless I want inflict upon myself, potentially serious injury) and scrubbing showers and washing floors, well forget it!

The only time I’ve felt cool lately was last week, sitting in the chair at the dentist having root canal work done, with the airconditioning blowing across my legs – I was actually shivering.

Night time? Get hot and sweaty (not from hanky panky), wake up, strip sheet and blanket off, eventually go back to sleep, wake up cool, replace sheet and blanket, eventually go back to sleep Repeat ad infinitum. Will I ever get to enjoy sleeping under a quilt again, let alone just a proper nights sleep?

This morning it was just standing outside watching my boys participate in their sports day. The sun was biting, but fortunately there was a slight breeze. DH said I looked very red in the face. Yes, running and dripping sweat everywhere again. Perhaps I could bottle it...would it be a saleable item though?

Of course it’s not helped at all by the “warmer” than usual weather either, it was 33C today and we’re looking at 34C tomorrow. Roll on winter!

I have a message for anyone looking forward to menopause... “It sucks!!!”

OK, rant over, now back to your regular scheduled programming...


22 March 2004

My surgeon had good news for me today, all the scans were clear YIPPEE!!! Let’s dance on the table tops!

Now down to the nitty gritty, questions, answers and work out what happens next.

My surgery is booked for the afternoon of 29 March 2004, for a “wide local excision and level 2 axillary clearance”. I should only have 1 scar, lateral.

So now it’s time to finalise some of those little jobs and clear the slate before the 29th, including buy cards and pressies, where appropriate, get pathology bill paid, and of course continue on with everyday life.

I have been utterly amazed and humbled by all the offers of help. It really brings tears to my eyes.

LAP

This morning I had a briefing session regarding the ins and outs of the school LAP (Learning Assistance Program), that I have volunteered to take part in this year. H was involved in it for 2 years to help with his fine motor skills. I will work with a student for 30 minutes each Friday this year. It should be very rewarding working one-on-one and seeing progress. If all goes well, I may do another session next year.

I came away with an application form for a Police Check and a privacy document – now I have to find 2 people who like me enough to be named on it! I’ll need to dig out my birth certificate and marriage certificate so I can prove I’m me when I put the police check form in at my local.

Farmers in training

J’s class had a family outing to a farm barn today. The weather was glorious. The boys had a ball with the baby animals, and feeding goats, sheep, donkey, sheep, calves, chooks and making up platters to feed to the pigs. They also enjoyed riding the Shetlands (H had 2 rides) and playing with the ride on pedal tractors. All the animals had such lovely temperaments.

They have such a lovely set up there and they keep the kids amused. J didn’t want to leave, and let us know in no uncertain terms! He got absolutely covered with dirt from head to toe and everywhere in between – I could have used a carpet beating stick to get it out of his clothes and shoes, but a wipe down with a couple of tissues and a hand dust off had to suffice. I have to admit, I’m pleased it didn’t rain – at the rate they picked up dirt, mud would not have been welcome.

During the afternoon, H wanted to play some of the games he was given for his birthday. I helped H play “Battleships” with DH. Afterwards, H, J and I played a couple of games of "Junior Scrabble". The boys did really well.

We ended up having takeaway pizza for dinner, you really can’t beat $3.95 each for large pizzas! J ate 4 pieces (a new record for him, he usually manages 2 pieces) and H ate 5, a little down on his usual 6 (or more) pieces. It was rather fortuitous that we bought 3 pizzas, they were needed.


19 March 2004

Testing day

I’m booked in for a CT scan of chest and abdomen, chest x-ray and whole body bone scan. These tests should show whether the cancer has spread and indicate the next steps and possible treatment.

The testing fun starts at 10.30am. J isn’t too happy about mummy being away.

The clinic gives me a bottle of “contrast medium” (oh, they have such a lovely way of saying “barium meal”, don’t they?) I have to drink 1 cup every 15 minutes for 1 hour. The chair isn’t all that comfortable for a longer wait. This stuff doesn’t taste too bad, especially as I’ve not been allowed any food or drink 4 hours before – in other words, nothing since last night.

While I wait, thoughts run through my head:

“How on earth does a daughter tell her mother that she has breast cancer?”

OK, why is it that hospital gowns aren’t generous enough to cover all the body? I have to settle for 2, one on back, one on front.

For the CT scan, dye is given in vein in my right elbow – I have a metallic taste and a warm “wetting” sensation down below. The automated voice tells me what to do; “Take a deep breath – hold your breath” “Breathe away”. The scans are very quick.

Next room – chest x-ray, then get dressed – errr, can’t do up bra or buttons with the gel in my vein! The technician helped me dress.

Around to nuclear medicine next for the whole body bone scan. I’m injected with radioactive tracer. “Come back in 3 hours for the scan”. What am I supposed to do? It’s after midday. A friend who works nearby is tied up with a board meeting, so it’s just me. I decided to go for a little walk and get some lunch. I ended up in a Thai restaurant and ordering Pad Thai (very nice – it’s been a long time) and an orange juice. I then went on to a café for coffee and read my book for a while.

I was back at the clinic by around 2.30pm (and into the waiting room in nuclear medicine at around 2.45pm). I had to wait for a couple of in-patients.

The head scan was done (both sides) then it was back to waiting room briefly. My whole body bone scan was then done, took approx 12 mins for front from head to toe, then my back was done, a slightly shorter time. It’s fun trying to keep still and not get itchy for that time.

Then it was back to waiting room until I know the scans are OK (I won’t get the results until I see my surgeon again).

DH picked me up at about 4.30pm, so it was a long day of mostly sitting around.

Lucky 7!

Today my sweet, wonderful boy turned a big 7! Where has the time gone? 2 years ago I was questioning whether I’d be here to see it.

The grandparents and Aunts and Uncles all either phoned or dropped in to see H, which was really lovely.

H had a bowling party around lunchtime today. I’d made bowling invitations, bowling goodie bags, bowling name tags, a bowling cake. I’m all bowled out!

I finally finished everything at around 2.15am.

Ta-da! Yes it’s a bit bland, but how can you “jazz up” a bowling cake?

Oh, the 16 mostly boys of 7 to nearly 8 years - all I can say is that I’m blessed to only have 2 of them. DH was heard to declare “no more parties until he’s 21!”

I think the boys had a good time, although they were both totally wrecked (closely followed by their parents, I might add).

Today was also State election day. The first time I caught glimpse of the poster for this candidate;

I thought it had suffered a graffiti attack (glasses,moustache, beard, you know the drill). I went to the official website and found this was not the case, he actually looks like that! Perhaps I should go get my eyes tested, afterall, they’re due to be done.


18 March 2004

It’s H’s 5th birthday today.

My surgeon phoned me with the biopsy results. The test showed abnormal cells, so yes, I have breast cancer. What a lovely birthday present!

I’m still feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck, but am also getting on and doing things. H’s birthday and party (Saturday) have been a priority and have been keeping me busy. My temper is short. My demeanour must have rubbed off on J as the poor little guy is grumpy.

Why?

Why are birthday parties so much work, or is it that we create more work for ourselves than we really need to?

H and J helped put the goodie bags together, although as anyone can tell you, the job would have been finished much sooner, in a less stressful manner, if I’d not employed “help”.

The cake pattern I’d drawn up (and my impaired mental capacity) meant that the slab of chocolate cake I’d made was not big enough, so at the “last minute” I had to make another slab. Then the decision had to be made of what type of “icing” to use – the pins really had to be white, and H wanted an orange “ball”. I resolve to never again use “fluffy frosting” – not a real nice substance to make or work with, I’m not sure that I like a cake that looks like meringue.

Of course the Commonwealth Games are underway in Melbourne, although I haven’t watched very much – that’s something that I intend to change.


17 March 2004

I had my first appointment with my breast surgeon. After an examination of my lumpy bits, he stated that it looked very suspicious and conducted a needle biopsy. He had 2 goes to get enough tissue to test – OUCH, and lots of crunching – a sounded terrible. He said that it is treatable and that my nodes look good. He ordered tests to be done – blood (done straight after appointment) CT Chest and Abdomen, Chest X-ray and whole body bone scan – these tests were to see if the cancer had spread. An appointment was made for Friday 19 March at 10.30am.

I want to remain very attached to my teeth

I’m thankful that I have a gentle dentist, especially when it comes to root canal work. It was my 3rd appointment on the current tooth today, the previous one was before Christmas. It was a long appointment, nothing like lying there with your mouth open for well over an hour, being unable to talk and having very limited movement. I thought I might have almost dropped off into the land of nod, but no such luck – may be next time.

He finished cleaning out the canals, filled them and slapped a temporary filling over it. The hydraulic pressure was sending knives through my mouth, then the aircon cut in, blowing across my legs. I never thought I’d see the day when I’d say that I was actually shivering with cold instead of dealing with hot flushes. He ended the appointment with another x-ray to check that the cement had gone in properly - I hate to think how many x-rays he has of my mouth now, it probably rivals my mammogram collection! The tooth seems to have settled down from its adventure today, so that’s good news.

I go back in a bit over a week to have the permanent filling done. This time I should be able to avoid the dreaded anaesthetic – nothing like the sensation of needles piercing your ears, jaw and tongue – damned nerves!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

Yes, the boys have, with DH's help, just discovered The Thunderbirds (the 1960’s TV series). DH bought the whole series a couple of years ago, and now H & J are hooked. What has he done! J loves watching things blow up – we’ve always said he’d probably make a great deconstruction engineer!

Took H to the book shop to “spend” his gift voucher prize. He eventually chose “The Big Book of How When Why?” It’s encyclopedic, with lots of information to keep him busy for a while. I suggested he write a letter of thanks to the Australian Dental Association, SA Branch.

While out at the shops, we picked up a few bits and pieces to go into H's party gift bags. His birthday is now less than a week away so I’d better get myself into gear.

I made my own pizza dough tonight (in the breadmaker) for the first time. I doubled the recipe and could quite possibly have gotten 3 large pizzas out of the dough – note that down for next time. The pizzas turned out quite well.


Friday 12 March 2004

DH arrived home from Singapore this morning, so he was unaware of what was going on.

My mammogram appointment was set for 2pm. They took 10 images (both sides) and close ups of the lump. The images were reviewed and they phoned my GP. She asked to see me. For the first time, I was a little worried.

I was handed the envelope and told not to open it – that didn’t sound good either. I picked H up from school, dropped in home, picked up J and DH (told him he had to come with me – he was still none the wiser). On the way, I told him about the lump and mammogram.

OK, so the results showed a large stellate legion in the left breast. There were calcifications. A probable ductal carcinoma was diagnosed – OMG!!!!! My GP phoned to get an urgent appointment with a breast surgeon (Mr P), which was made for Wednesday 17 March. She also gave me a prescription for sleeping tablets (I never got it filled).

I had a very flat weekend. I spent most of Saturday in bed, some of it sleeping. To say I was facing my own mortality was an understatement – that bus had hit me head on at 110kph! I feared not seeing the kids grow up, I didn’t want to see them without a Mum and for them to not remember me was heartbreaking to say the least.

Day 80 of the year 2006

As you can see, it's 11 March 2006. I'm half way between my 45th and 46th birthdays and it also marks 2 years since I started on my life long breast cancer journey.

I went to the doctor for a pap smear and a "here, could you check out this lump please", and came away with breast cancer.

I'm not sure how I feel 2 years on, but it is easier than last year.

I think I'm almost ready to finally give up on wondering when "normal" will return. There is no "normal" in anything, just endless variations.

Whether it’s considered therapy or not, who cares anyway, I’ll start to include excerpts from my journal where I documented much of that first year.

A shameless brag

Wait for it.....

Coffee was so good I had 2 mugs this morning. If the truth be known, I couldn’t be bothered moving from my seat.

I went for a wander down to the Central Market and bought some brown bags to use as gift bags for Henry’s party - now to find stuff to fill them.

I also managed to pick up some cellophane bags to package my cards in, that I may one day sell to the masses.
As alluded to yesterday, DH, J and I attended the Celebrity Smile Awards presentation today.

OK, here comes the shameless brag bit.

Each year the Australian Dental Association of SA Branch, along with a panel of South Australian dentists, choose a male and female recipient of the Celebrity Smile Award. This year the winners are Jodie Blewett, Channel Ten personality and Adelaide United soccer captain Ross Aloisi. They received their certificates and electric toothbrushes, at an assembly today, attended by all preschool to Year 2 children.

The children in Years 1 and 2 (around 95 kids) made posters on healthy teeth and gums, which includes healthy diet and healthy lifestyle. Four winning posters (2 from Year 1 and 2 from Year 2) were selected by Jodie and Ross.

H won a prize! So now he has a $20 voucher to spend in a bookshop.

Here’s the media story on the awards.

Much ado

J amazed us again tonight. We were getting close to the end of dinner and we did the usual “hurry up” routine. “Dinner will be over at half past 6.” To which he replied: “That’s 2 more minutes on that one (microwave oven clock) and 3 more minutes on that one (oven clock). The clocks showed 6.28pm and 6.27pm respectively. GH and I were gobsmacked!

I also booked H’s birthday party at the local 10-pin bowling centre for next week. I spend much of the afternoon and evening designing and printing out the invitations. They will be folded in 3 with the skittle on the front. I think they turned out quite well – at least they’re original. Half the battle was trying to get the guest list sorted out with H, but we got it done. Now for the fun of deciding on a cake and organising the gift bags (bags and contents).

Mum has her post-operative checkup (after the reconnection of the bowel) tomorrow. Hopefully it will be straight forward.

There’s a preschool coffee morning after drop off tomorrow. I’ve been asked whether I’ll be going – has anyone ever known me to turn down the offer of a coffee and chat? It will be a good opportunity to get to know some of the other parents as I missed out on the info night – DH went to preschool, I went to Year 2.

H’s teacher phoned after we arrived home from school. Tomorrow they are having some Celebrity Smile awards presented. The Year 1 & 2 kids designed posters on looking after teeth and healthy eating. They have been “judged” and some awards are due to be handed out. Mrs P suggested that we might like to attend – we were the only parents in her class getting a call. I’d better take the video camera along!

Then there’s H’s bowling after school – it’s going to be a busy day. Perhaps I’ll veg out for a while on Friday……

It's been creeping up on me

I realised today that anniversary day is looming up large. I suppose I’ve been too busy with other things go give it much thought. This has to be a good thing. At this moment, I don’t feel too apprehensive about it, but of course that may change rather rapidly, especially as I also close in on my next mammogram, blood test and checkup, due early next month. In contrast, all my 1st anniversaries last year were quite difficult for me, all the memories came flooding back.

The following work pretty well sums up for many, if not all of us, the thoughts that go through our minds, some of which flow straight out of our mouths too. Thank you Susan Frisius. I hope you can get something out of it.

I Could Get Hit By a Bus Too
Copyright 1995 Susan Frisius

“You never know when you're going to die, after all, I could get hit by a bus.”

Since I've never known anyone who has been hit by a bus, I don't understand why friends and acquaintances often say this when I first tell them I have breast cancer. Do they think the possibility of their being hit by a bus equals the possibility of my dying from cancer? Besides, I could get hit by a bus too.

"You're lucky you have a treatable disease."

Don't get me wrong. I'm thankful I wasn't told, "There's nothing we can do," but losing pieces of my body, having a radiation machine set off a nuclear war in my breast and getting my veins filled with toxic chemicals doesn't exactly make me feel lucky.

"You'll be fine because you have a great attitude."

If attitude really matters, why did I get cancer in the first place? Or does attitude only matter after you get cancer? Right now my attitude about cancer is lousy. So what does that mean?

"Don't worry, if your time's not up, it's not up."

If that's true, why did I bother with the surgery? Should I cancel the rest of my treatments? Do doctors perform surgery and give chemo and radiation for no good reason? After all, "if my time's up," treatments won't help.

"I've read that anger and stress lead to cancer."

Great! Now I caused my own cancer.

"You should simplify your life."

It's pretty simple now, all I seem to do is go to medical appointments.

"I've read that people can keep cancer from coming back by changing their diet. Maybe you should try to improve yours since it didn't keep you from getting cancer. That's why I watch everything I eat."

The person who tells me this knows I only eat natural foods, cook everything from scratch, don't eat junk foods and rarely eat meat. "You eat white pasta," she says when she sees my puzzled look. Of course, she eats white pasta too, but calls the flour "semolina." Does she really think if I had eaten pasta with "semolina" on the label I wouldn't now have cancer?

One person says, "If you really want to live, you will. Just never give up. When people give up, they die."

If I were hit and killed by a bus would she think I died because I gave up?

Another person tells me to visualize the cancer shrinking. She says, "If you really work at it, you can eliminate it."

Most conversations end with "call if you need anything." I don't have the energy to call anyone - I can hardly feed myself and get to my medical appointments.

Why do intelligent and sensitive people who care about me say such things? Can they really believe I'm responsible both for my cancer and the outcome of my treatments?

I think these people want to believe cancers are caused by a person's poor emotional state or diet. This lets them think they won't get cancer because they think they eat properly and handle their lives and emotions well. Unfortunately, it also makes them feel uncomfortable around me because they're afraid they'll find out their attitudes and diets are no better than mine. So I hear, "How can you be so cheerful?" and "All that yogurt can't be good for you," and "Put your daughters in foster care, they're too stressful for you."

I have no doubt that everyone I talked to about my cancer was concerned about me and wanted to help me keep a positive outlook. I'm sure they were sincere when they said, "I'd like to have you over for dinner sometime, but I know everything makes you sick," or "It's good to see you out grocery shopping, I was worried because I hadn't seen you for a while."

I'm sure friends would have been happy to help if I had called them and asked for assistance. Most likely they thought they were being considerate when they didn't visit or call "so I could rest." I think they just didn't know what to do or say.

So what would help me while I'm being treated for cancer?

Drop in or call. The only way you'll know what I need is if you keep in touch. Remember, if I'm out in the community, I'm well enough to be out. It's when you don't see me that I need your support.

Don't wait for me or my immediate family to ask you for help. It takes too much energy and I don't like admitting I can no longer cope with everyday living. When you want to help, don't ask what I need, just do it. Bring me a meal (white pasta is fine), wash my floors while I sleep, take my children to a movie, get the oil changed in my car, pick up a few vegetables for me at a farm stand, change a burned out light bulb, take my empty yogurt container off the coffee table and throw it out.

Don't minimize the illness that scrambles my life by telling me about simple causes and self cures. Everything I've held important has been touched by it - my ability to raise my children, my work, my independence, my social life.

Don't let your fear of hearing about cancer keep you away. While cancer has become a big part of my life, it's not my whole existence and I am able to converse on other subjects.

Remember my immediate family. My cancer affects them emotionally as much as it does me. My kids and parents need their friends' support now more than they ever did.

If I let you know your company is too much for me at the time, come back. If I don't answer the phone, call again. I need to know I can count on you because I'm temporarily unable to count on myself.

If you're feeling helpless because someone you know has cancer, don't. Take them a meal and eat it with them. Talk to them as you wash their dishes. Play a game with their kids so they can hear laughter. Pet their cat until it purrs. Bring over a book and read it to them.

Both of you will feel better when you take action.

11 March is also the due date for my 2 yearly pap smear, so I need to get myself organised and make an appointment. There are other issues I wish to discuss with my GP as well – better make a list, methinks!

TFIM (as opposed to TGIF)

The weekend’s over and it’s back to some form of “normality”.

With seemingly a million things to do, we eventually got out the door late Saturday morning. As time was getting shorter, we decided to take the more direct route. It was a warm trip, thank goodness for airconditioning. The boys enjoyed spotting a couple of very long freight trains and keeping an eye out for destination and distance signage.

We took up residence in a 2 bedroom cabin at the local caravan park with about 45 mins to spare before dinner. Inside was no better than the close to 40C outside. First thing was to turn the aircon on and up full bore. While it cooled the main area, the bedrooms still suffered, particularly the boys’ room.

Brother was running late - he was picking up the guests of honour. The boys were starting to get edgy, as they do when they have to wait for food. DH was plying them with “fizzy drinks” – don’t ask *groan*.

Our plan of a surprise worked – Mum and Dad were also very pleased to see us all.

Pub fare comes in large portions, especially in the country. H downed most of an adult sized Mixed Grill and salad, plus a kid’s serve of pizza. J managed a sausage, some chips and salad.

The pub staff were kind enough to “mind” the cake I’d decorated, and we all (except J – “I don’t love it”) had some of it for “dessert”.


It hadn’t cooled down at all by the time we left to return to our snug home for the night. The boys did not cope well with sharing a bed and room and the heat. It wasn’t until some 1.5 hours later they eventually got to sleep.

Neither DH nor I slept very well, even with the aircon and an overhead fan on, and it all came to a crashing halt when J woke at 5.14am – he NEVER does that at home! It was the start of a very ratty day. Once it was light, DH took the boys for a tour of the park – kangaroos, bird aviary, playground, creek (dry).

After breakfast and packing up, we called in to see my parents briefly. Pa did a good job keeping the boys amused. We got on our way just before midday and thought we’d take the more scenic route home – big mistake!

The boys whinged about the more bumpy and winding roads. We stopped part way and had a bite of lunch on he run (they managed to get covered in charcoal from a burnt log) and again about half way home so the kids could run off a bit of energy at a playground. J had a little sleep between lunch and playground time, he was soooo tired - those alarm bells should have rung loud and clear.

We pulled into the driveway at 5.01pm. The boys had a quick bite of dinner, then it was off to bed, early. Of course J didn’t want to sleep! He eventually went off 2 hours after he went to bed. I think H just dropped off eventually as he was so tired.

Fortunately, they both woke this morning in a good frame of mind.

Mental notes taken from this trip:
- H is a “direct point A to point B person”, J probably is too.
- It always pays to pack more clothes than you think you’ll need – I did this one!
- No matter how nice you are to your kids, they’ll still be little devils at times.
- The proposed driving trip in the April school holidays might be shelved – who can handle the stress.
- Parents do appreciate their kids going to that little bit extra effort.
- “Apartments are people carparks” – according to H.

Golden moments

Tomorrow is my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary - 3 March 1956. Congratulations Mum and Dad!

My brother has organised a dinner booking at the local for Saturday night and we will travel up as a surprise. I’ve made and sent a card, put an ad in the paper, booked accommodation (a cabin at the local caravan park) and bought a cake and bits to decorate it. The boys don't know about our weekend trip, but I think they'll be thrilled when they do find out.

It’s forecast to be mid 30’s again here tomorrow so I’ll probably need to put the aircon on to do the decorating in reasonable comfort.

We’re in for a “warm” weekend, which will be a few degrees hotter up there, so I’m not looking forward to traveling in the heat with the sun beating through the windows. I hope to find some decent sized window shades for the boys.

I have all the fun of organising everything we need to take with us. I think many lists are in order, to help my muddled “filing system” cope.

H received an award for reading yesterday, he’s now on “junior novels”, so bye bye reading levels! His teacher noted today; “H is a wonderful boy who tries hard and is building a lot of success for himself.”

Then there’s the “kindness” award he was given today, and certificates for the 50 and 75 Clubs at bowling, and he got the award for the bowler with the highest score above his average!