Saturday 31 July 2004

CMF1 – Day 4

I rested in this morning – tired!

This morning, my urine actually smelled like urine! It didn’t last though.

My ribs are a bit sore and are a bit naggy when I breathe or stretch.

I’ve had a craving for salt on my food the last couple of days, very strange.

Wednesday 28 July 2004

CMF1 – Day 1

Appointment is 11.15am.

J went to Kindergym then came home. Mum and Dad came down yesterday to see Auntie M in hospital and will looked after J while I went for chemo.

This regime is much quicker than AC and we were out by 12.20pm. the drugs are given by injection into an IV, with Cyclophosphamide taken in the morning of days 2-15 in tablet form. I am to take 2 Stemetil before breakfast and 4 cyclophosphamide after breakfast. He has also given me stronger anti-nausea tablets (need government authorization – they are usually $232!) in case I need them – they are wafers that dissolve on the tongue and dose is 1 per day. They can be taken with Stemetil. I can take Stemetil every 4 hours if needs be.

My lack of periods is good news medically speaking as it still plays havoc with any cancer cells that may be circulating in my body. I get hot flushes (my head) and have done for the last couple of months. Although I didn’t know if it was related to chemo.

Tuesday 27 July 2004

AC4 – Day 21

Well, 3 months down, 3 to go! I still look to treatment day with dread. I’ve had headaches for the last 5 days and taken paracetamol on a couple of occasions.

Skin is still dry, I feel like a lizard!

I phoned doc re taking tablet as it says in 4 in the morning for 14 days – I don’t actually start them until Thursday, so days 2-15 not 1-14.

I’ll have to check my stocks of stemetil too.

It’s now 6 weeks since I my last period started.

The end is in sight!

Today I sat in the dentist’s chair for around 90 minutes, watching a dvd while he ground down one of my root canalled teeth in preparation for a permanent crown to be fitted next week. I think I’ll take the headphones next time – it’s difficult to hear movie dialogue when a drill is reverberating through the open spaces of the skull, and the suction nozzle is doing it’s job.

The smell of speeding drill burning tooth enamel is one that takes me back to my childhood, when the dreaded school dentists came around to country schools in their big distinctive white/cream coloured caravans. We all cringed when it was our turn to walk up those steps and sit in that big black chair. Walking out with a “fat” lip from anaesthetic for a filling was par for the course.

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AF, or Aunt Flo, has been renamed. She's now known as Aunt Flood.


Monday 26 July 2004

AC4 – Day 20

I had my prescription filled (cyclophosphamide) ready for the start of the next lot of chemo.

NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I did so, NOT want to be right!

The warning signs, and possible causes:

- hot flushes have reduced. We’ve had a very cold winter here and they tend to be less severe in winter, could that be the cause?

- crabbiness (that’s a very polite way of putting it), moodiness, and the like. We were ramping up to the end of the school term and DH was in hospital for 2.5 weeks, including all of the boys’ school holidays.

- finally last week, although a bit reluctantly, deciding to give away my stored away since last year, sanitary protection stash. Strangely, something told me I should delay delivering them to their new owner.

- abdominal cramps - the bowels are always playing up.

- my brain telling me what I don’t want to hear.

Yes, it looks like I’m starting my second period since June 2004. NOT HAPPY, JAN!!!

This is not supposed to happen. My body is supposed to be over it! When it happened in June 2005 I could understand, a “clean out”, fine, although it was the period from hell and that’s no exaggeration.

I so don’t want to do this again. Why do I have to go through vicious menopause symptoms for a 3rd time? They’ve been there for the last 2 and a bit years, but they come back with a vengeance last June. I suppose I’m in for more of the same shit!

I really don’t need to be running to the toilet every 30-45 minutes for at least a couple of days. This could also throw my chances of going onto Arimidex in October – BLOODY HORMONES!!!

I know I’ve said it before, but BREAST CANCER REALLY SUCKS!!!

Friday 23 July 2004

AC4 – Day 17

Skin is still very dry – used some eye drops today too.

Thursday 22 July 2004

AC4 – Day 16

The skin on my hands has started to split it’s so dry.

DH has been asked to do 3 days work, week commencing 9 August, in Sydney I think.

Auntie A came around today and brought a meat casserole. Auntie M is doing better, don’t know how long they’ll keep her in hospital. Mum and Dad are likely to come down next week and have offered to look after J while I have my treatment.

He's home!

DH finally came home today after 17 days in hospital along with a bag full of antibiotics and scripts.

He still can’t bear weight on his leg, and he's still in quite a bit of pain, but he’ll be happier being at home.


Wednesday 21 July 2004

AC4 – Day 15

I’m starting to not look forward to the next round of treatment.

Tuesday 20 July 2004

AC4 – Day 14

My skin has become very dry, especially my hands, and my eyes are dry too.

How stupid am I?

Perhaps it’s not wise to answer that one. There are days when I don’t know where my brain is, it’s certainly not in gear. The boys and I went out for our daily hospital run and a drop in to the shops on the way home.

We arrived home to find the front door wide open. The deadlock had been locked, but the door not closed. I inspected the house, door open, just in case there had been a break in. Fortunately no one had ventured inside in the 3 hours we’d been out.


Monday 19 July 2004

AC4 – Day 13

Auntie M had a heart attack last Friday (16th) and was taken to the RAH. One of her heart valves is also causing problems. She had surgery today, a bypass and valve replacement. Apparently she had a cardiac arrest before they started surgery, but they managed to get her heart started again.

I'm a pre-teen again!

I never thought I’d see the day that I’d find myself stuffing my bra. I’m 45 years old, not a pre-teen! Yep for

With my expanded body, my prosthesis is a bit on the small side, so I look quite lopsided. One boob hangs low and points to the ground, the other sits up closer to my shoulder. I can’t even lean to make them look even.

So I’ve temporarily remedied the situation by stuffing a pair of folded knickers behind my prosthesis and it looks much better. The only problem is that the knickers have a habit of going walkabout, usually into what other women call the cleavage area, as I don’t actually have any with just 1 boob, but you get the idea. It’s not a good look at all.

Perhaps the time has come for me to either purchase a customised boob, or make my own.

Who’d ever thought of knitting one? Well, there is a lady in Canada, a fellow breast cancer survivor who does just that. An interesting concept if nothing else. Her business is called Tit Bits and can be found here.

She has Everyday Tits, Fancy Tits and Floosie Tits, and a big sense of humour, the one thing that helps us retain a modicum of sanity.

When will this millennium start being kind to us?

Everything we’ve tried has turned to crap. And amongst that, we’ve had serious family illnesses, starting with my breast cancer in 2004, my mum’s bowel cancer in 2005 and now DH’s cellulitis caused by a multi resistant staph infection. In 2003 we were dealing with H’s speech and physical deficiencies.

DH was admitted to hospital for IV antibiotic treatment a week ago today.


Monday 12 July 2004

AC4 – Day 6

I’ve been very tired, cranky, etc. I’m sure the taste and smell thing is getting worse.

I really need to organise some appointments – hair and immunisations for the boys, as well as the surgeon and dentist for me (3 month appointments).

Wednesday 7 July 2004

AC4 – Day 1

This is the last of the AC treatments!

The kids went to Grandma’s while we see my onc and have my chemo treatment.

My evening meal sat in my stomach and all came up at around 12.10am, just after I’d had paracetamol and stemetil – not pleasant.

Tuesday 6 July 2004

AC3 – Day 21

I still have the lump in my mouth.

I’m so sick of the way my urine and perspiration smells, it’s a constant chemo smell.

I filled my stemetil prescription today in readiness for the next few days.

Still tender under my jaw. Glands may be slightly up on the right too. My head is still giving me problems off and on – last 3 evenings.

I still have some form of cold – over 12 weeks now!

Monday 5 July 2004

AC3 – Day 20

The tinea seems to be calming down.

My head is giving me problems this evening – headache.

Sunday 4 July 2004

AC3 – Day 19

The mouth lump bled when I brushed my teeth tonight.

There is a tender spot under my jaw on the left hand side – possible glands.

3 July 2006

A truly momentous day!

H, my 7 year old who has had to battle fine motor skills, tied his own shoes for the first time this morning.

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What is it with shopping trolleys and jacket/coat buttons?

I’ve only had trouble since the larger compartmented trolleys came in, perhaps it’s just a coincidence. I’ve had 2 buttons get snagged near the top along the side of the trolley resulting in 2 buttons being ripped off. The first left a gaping hole in my coat, fortunately the thread holding he button on the second was not as strong as the fabric to which is was stitched.

We all know there are inherent design faults in shopping trolleys. They rarely steer straight, the wheels wobble, I back my toes into the wheels while pushing the trolley, resulting in bloodied toes and broken toenails, especially in summer. Now the damned things are eating my buttons!

Friday 2 July 2004

AC3 – Day 17

Now the toe next to my little toe is affected with Tinea – grrrrrrr

How do we get it to rain here?

Persuade my girlfriend to hold an outdoor birthday party for one of her girls. It happened again today! She instinctvely “knew” it would happen so planned ahead for a sheltered spot. The last time it rained here was 17 April, her eldest’s birthday party which was held (initially until it was rained out) at a playground. The water soaked sausages got just a bit too much and we had to retire to the relative shelter of their carport some 8-10km away.

I wonder when she’ll have her next party, heaven knows we could do with a lot more rain!

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I can’t believe we’re half way though the year. The new financial year began today and we have only one more week of school until the mid year holidays, a whole 2 weeks.

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The Gala Ball for the boys’ school is on tonight, I wonder how the silent auctions went, hopefully they raised a lot of money.