It's done!

I've bitten the bullet and just signed up for the Mothers Day Classic 4km walk. Now I eagerly await my "Participants Information Kit" in the mail. Just goes to show that small things really do amuse this doddery "old" mind.

Mothers Day Classic

Mothers’ Day is fast approaching. It’s the second Sunday in May, otherwise known this year as 14 May, and just 2 weeks from today.

Each Mothers’ Day for the last 5 years, the “Mothers Day Classic” has been held. It is a walk or run to raise funds for breast cancer research. The MDC will be held in Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney and has been extended to Hobart for the first time. I so wanted to take part last year, but my health put the kybosh on that.

This year I hope it will be a different story. I’ve had my feet attended to and they’re feeling much better, and if I can ward off the cold from hell, I’ll be laughing.

All I have to do now is organise myself and go register for the event. Sponsorship forms are available, but at this time, I just want to do it for myself and other survivors I know and those who are going through treatment. Maybe I’ll think about raising money next year.

I’ve given a lot to breast cancer, including my left boob, sanity, fertility, uninterrupted sleep, and youthful joints and bones, and healthy teeth, to name a few, now it’s time to prove a few things to myself.

So I have 2 weeks to get myself psyched up for a 4km walk around the Torrens Lake in the city centre.

The gun debate is alive and well

Today is the 10th anniversary of the massacre of 35 people (and injuries to many others) at Port Arthur, by one deranged individual. The youngest of his victims was 3, the oldest, 71 years. He lined up and shot anyone he could find.

The way in which the killer went about it is truly chilling.

This incident brought about some of the toughest gun control laws in the world – it’s still a work in progress as the debate has now switched to hand guns.

Port Arthur was the scene of arguable Australia’s worst mass killing, at least in recent times, but let us remember the 35 souls lost, those who were injured and all the damaged families they left behind.


Wednesday 28 April 2004

Appointment with my surgeon today. He drew off some fluid and was happy with my progress. Unless something unforeseen happens, I don’t need to see him for 3 months.

Sanity checks

The weather was beautiful today, with an estimated top of 26C. The girls from my first parents’ group started when our oldest children were just a few weeks old, decided to get together at a local playground. There ended up being 4 of us, with our 8 children. The bubbly was a welcome addition.

It was great to catch up, something we seem to do less and less these days as our lives are filled with work, chasing around after our kids and life in general. Our get togethers, especially in the early days, were our sanity checks and were greatly valued. You can’t put a price on those friendships. It’s hard to believe that it all started 7 years ago, in just a couple of weeks time.

We do hope to do it more often from now on.


Tuesday 27 April 2004

I went shopping today and bought clothes.

I purchased my wig today from Bonnie Wigs, Adelaide Arcade – “Celine” in moccacchino (sp?) Also bought shampoo, conditioner, stand, and brush. The wig cost $550, some of which I will be able to claim from private health insurance.

Chernobyl

This day is etched in the memory. It’s 20 years ago today that reactor number 4 at the Chernoblyl nuclear plant exploded. It occurred at 1.23am local time. The number of victims is very much in dispute, anything from around 50 to hundreds of thousands, including those who will die in the future as a result of the fallout. The radiation cloud spread widely over Scandinavia, UK Europe and parts of North America. I remember sick children being sent to clean environments like Australia to recouperate.

We may never know it’s full effects with any sort of accuracy. Although wildlife is defying the radiation, it will be thousands of years before the area will once again be safe, a frightening prospect.

Anzac Day

Today is the 91st anniversary of Australian and New Zealand troops landing at Gallipoli in 1915. During the 8 month campaign Australians suffered 26,000 casualties, with 8,700 killed or died from injuries or disease. It has been seen as the day Australia became a nation and the Anzac as hey became known, created a legend.

Anzac Day was proclaimed and first observed in 1916 on the first anniversary of the landing.

The Anzac tradition lives on strongly with the annual dawn service and march of returned servicemen and women from pervious conflicts, along with serving personnel.

We also remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we can enjoy the freedoms we do today.

Lest We Forget.

Dropping in on a friend

Ballarat to Adelaide

All too soon it was time to choof off home. We left at 10.20am and drove through to Horsham, arriving at around 1-1.15pm. We tracked down M’s bakery and bought our lunch - yummy baked goods! DH took the boys to the playground just up the road which M and I had a good chat over a coffee. It was great to catch up again. Time passed all too quickly and we had to say goodbye, laden down with the remains of the day’s creamy and custardy cakes.

We indulged he boys with Hungry Jacks for dinner again so that they could finish off their Ice Age 2 “game”, but took it home to eat, walking in the door just before 7.30pm. We made it home, and in one piece!

A trip back in time

Melbourne to Ballarat

The boys were up at around 7am again. 6 hot air balloons had just started their journey for the morning so we watched them for a while.


It was still cool, but most of the rain had passed.

We were out of the apartment by around 9.15-9.30am, surprisingly. After dropping off the keys and finalising the bill, we made our way out of Melbourne, deciding to take the quick way out, the freeway, but this time avoiding the toll way.

Off to Ballarat, about 1-1.5 hours out of Melbourne. We arrived at Sovereign Hill (a recreated gold settlement of the 1850’s, complete with shops and staff dressed in character) by around 11-11.30am, and of course the boys were starving, so had to be fed. Afterwards they played in a playground until H fell off something and hurt himself (sore neck – sounded like he’d strained something).





We took a mine tour (where’s the toilet for J!), the highlight of which, according to the boys, was the “train” ride out again. The boys wrote and posted postcards to their grandparents.


We watched the redcoat soldiers, looked through the shops, watched some street musicians, saw the gold battery in action, watched the pouring of a 3kg gold ingot, had a short coach ride and ate some more.


Unfortunately we didn’t get to pan for gold, but I think the kids were totally wrecked before then anyway.


Off to find out night’s accommodation in a small town, just outside Ballarat. Just as we were turning into the street, DH’s mobile rang, it was the accommodation house asking where we were (I had said we’d be arriving around 6pm, it was 5.56pm). We arrived to find lamps and music on, and bread baking in the breadmaker. This 2 bedroom apartment was beautifully decorated and had a gourmet kitchen, 2 person spa, cable tv, comfy sofas, provisions for a cooked breakfast and a decanter of port! Oh, I like this place!

DH went off to find us some dinner while I prepared clothing for the next day. He came back with some lovely pizzas.

Playing tourist

Melbourne

Another cool, overcast day, but mainly dry.

Back on the train to the city centre and a tram to the Queen Victoria Markets. They sell fresh produce, along with clothing, crafts, leathergoods, toys as well as the assorted “junk” that markets can attract. We had lunch there (another captive market) and DH purchased a new leather belt, all fitted for him.

A short walk and tram ride later, we wandered down to the banks of the Yarra River for a city and docklands cruise. While we were waiting, I had a coffee at a quirky little café on a tiny island (Clem’s Island) in the middle of the river. It only operates in the summer months – it’s too darned cold and windy there in winter.




The boys enjoyed being on the boat and gazing at the tall buildings, bridges, ships and loading cranes.



On to another tram to the Melbourne Aquarium. We got a bit of a bargain. Produce a valid public transport ticket and get 20% off admission. There were all manner of sea and fresh water creatures there, with the highlight being the large tank with fish, including giant rays and sharks, swimming around and over you. Some patrons had taken to diving with the sharks and were also in the tank.




After we were kicked out of there at closing time, we headed over to the Crowne Casino complex. As it was late, we didn’t do in, but watched the dancing fountains outside.



Some souls were “bravely” running through the fountain, gambling they would remain dry. Of course the boys decided it looked like fun. H made it OK, but J managed to get a jet of water right up the clacker! Oh how he hates having wet pants, nd it looked like he’d peed himself, poor kid. After a few minutes, he was ready to give it another go, but we talked both boys out of it.

We made our way back to the train station, taking in the city lights. It was a real novelty being out after dark, both for the kids and me!




It was time to revisit the washing and get everything packed up for an “early” start. No rest for the wicked, I tell you. I think I got to bed by around 1am.


Thursday 22 April 2004

12.45 – Dental check up. He decides to look at all work I will need done in the next 2 years. There are no new cavities, but 3 back fillings will need replacing. I need this work done before I start chemo on 5 May.

Trams and Trains

Melbourne

DH wanted to visit some hobby shops, so we all piled onto the train for a ride. The boys enjoyed being able to validate their tickets. We arrived at our destination station only for it to start hailing and raining. Once it stopped we had the fun of negotiating the flooded access ramp. We wandered along the shopping strip, then set out in the open, only for the hail to return. How much protection can a small umbrella give 4 people against 1cm (3/8”) hail? The boys and I walked back towards the station, stopping at a café for lunch, while DH continued on his 4km round trip hike. He eventually made it back and we returned to our apartment via the train – they boys were in heaven.

After we dropped DH’s purchases off, we went back to the station and caught the train into the city centre.


We then boarded the City Circle, a free tram service that travels around the perimeter of the city centre, then back on the train and “home” again.

We dropped into the local grog shop and picked up some pre-mixed cans of scotch and cola, which we imbibed in while watching a dvd – it was nice to relax for a change.

We found we were able to purchase a toll way day pass up to 3 days after travel, so decided to do so to avoid a hefty fine being levied for our indiscretion the day before. A few mouse clicks and it was done – phew!

Not quite four seasons in one day

Apollo Bay to Melbourne

We awoke to a little sunshine, although a cool and breezy day. We went to Mariner’s Lookout with a view over Apollo Bay. The boys thought it fun to race up the hills and fall down in the sheep droppings and slide down the hill.


We decided to backtrack to Cape Otway lighthouse (designates the arbitary boundary between Bass Strait and the Souther Ocean) and then do the Otway Fly, an elevated walk in the rainforest. This meant going back over some of the roads we covered in the dark last night. It was a much more pleasant journey in the daylight, with the road surrounded by rainforest.

We were welcomed to Cape Otway with rain and gale force winds. It gave us an idea of what it would be like in a storm, although the guide told us that storms are usually double the strength of the current gale. It was a real battle to stay on our feet on the outside of the lighthouse. Goodness knows how the video footage will turn like. We enjoyed a warming coffee before making our way back to the car.



The Otway Fly is situated in the rainforest, with the 600+ metre long elevated walk (after you walk down through the rainforest to start it) being around 25-27 metres above the ground, with the option of climbing a tower taking you up to 45 metres above the ground. Of course J was again “caught short” so had to relieve himself while on the walkway (he’d gone before we’d left the entrance, must have been the cold wet weather, or the swaying walkways).



The wintry weather certainly provided atmosphere, with wind moving the walkways and tower around, and rain and cloud passing through the trees. Once at the end, the trek back to the gates is along the same path we came down on, and a killer for small children and very unfit adults. Luckily for us, a passenger transporter happened along and we were able to get a ride most of the way back. We decided not to eat at the café as they were charging A$5 for a pie or pasty! Daylight robbery, although they do have rather a captive market.

We headed back down towards the coast along winding roads. H promptly felt sick and we only just stopped the car in time. After a change of jeans and shoes, and washing the car door mechanism down, we continued on our way.

We hugged the coast for the next 100km or so. The sea was still a bit like a washing machine with plenty of big waves, white water and spray. There were several spots along the way where surfers were out in the water – I can never fathom why anyone would be out in that churning, freezing water.


It was virtually dark by the time we hit Geelong. Finding the freeway from Geelong to Melbourne was a great relief. We waited too long to get off the freeway and ended up on the City Link toll way which travels under the city and has no toll booths, it’s all electronic – oops! We ended up kilometres out of our way, by which time James’ bladder was bursting again – we were saved by the garden outside of an office building.

We arrived at the reception desk to pick up our apartment keys at around 7.30pm. The company has apartments all over Melbourne. With keys and parking garage remote in hand, we set off to find our home for the next 3 nights. When we got there, the remote would not work. There was much to-ing and fro-ing on the phone, and eventually they decided to give us another apartment, so we went back and picked up the keys and a parking swipe card.

New home, take 2! The maintenance man followed us to the new address. Our swipe card would not work! In the end, the maintenance man gave us his and we moved ourselves in. It turned out they had given us an upgrade – 3bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, spa bath, cable tv, full laundry, full kitchen with dishwasher, 2 balconies, and in a more upmarket area closer to shops and transport. After the boys were in bed, I set off to find a supermarket to buy supplies for our stay. I decided it was time to give the takeaways a break and crack out the saucepans. I then got stuck into the washing.

Geological marvels

Mt Gambier to Apollo Bay

We had toast for brekky and set off at around 9am, what a record! It was cool, drizzly with low cloud and a little windy. It was time to quickly explore Blue Lake (a lake in an extinct volcano which for some unexplained reason turns blue in summer and reverts to grey in winter).


The first tour at Tantanoola Caves was set down at 10.15am, which we made with a few minutes to spare, dodging the logging trucks along the way.

Tantanoola Cave is a dolomite cave (there are 2 of this type of cave in Australia, most have limestone formations). It was discovered by a local boy looking for rabbits in 1930. This cave is predominantly one large cavern, although there are narrow passages leading off to other areas which are not open to the public. It’s quite decorative with the added colour from the dolomite giving a warmer glow.



After our little detour, we headed back through Mt Gambier on towards the Victorian border. The kids did the obligatory walk across the border/pose at the border thing, in the drizzle. It was a fortuitous stop as J needed to empty his seemingly small bladder, again.


Then it was on to the Great Ocean Road, one of the world’s scenic drives. Along the way we spied a wind farm through the mist and drizzle.


After passing Warnambool, the coastal scenery comes into play. The area is known locally as the shipwreck coast. There are high cliffs (up to 70 metres) with wild seas (especially during our traverse) and several areas of stone pillars in the ocean. Of course there are many vantage points just off the road, if I had been prepared to brave the wild weather – I decided to take the comfortable way out to stay in the car and hope that we could get close enough without the need for a hike.


There were a couple of places I insisted on braving the elements; Loch Ard Gorge (shown in the movie “Dinosaurs”), where a ship was wrecked in 1878 and all but 2 souls were lost. If it had not been for the gorge, they would not have survived due to the high, inaccessible cliffs and lack of shelter.

We took a short walk to view the Island Arch.


We were fortunate to see it at all at high tide under gale conditions, with massive white water, wind and driving rain. I also managed to kill my first umbrella!

Oh fun! Wet adults, wet kids and a fogged up vehicle!

Next stop was the “Twelve Apostles”. There used to be 12 stone pillar islands in the ocean at this point, although erosion has seen the number reduced over the years. The tallest of these is 45 metres. By the time we arrived it was getting quite late and the light was not good. It was still blowing a gale and raining on and off. We were joined by a few other tourists as silly as we were – we’re here, we’re going to see it!


It was around 5.30pm and virtually dark when we left. Oh joy, driving 100km in the dark with wind, rain coming straight at the windscreen, and running in rivers down the strange road surrounded now by rain forest.

We made it to Apollo Bay and sat down to spaghetti on toast and some preserved peaches as we couldn’t be bothered going out in the lousy weather again.

The adventure begins

Adelaide to Mt Gambier

After tearing around like a mad thing the last few days, the big day has arrived. With the weather being so mild up until now, I hadn’t needed to hit the shops for winter clothes, but with the forecast wintry burst due while we’re away, the urgency became apparent.

I’d been up half the night getting everything ready so we could leave at a reasonable time in the morning. Of course, that never eventuated and we didn’t get away until around 11.30am.

The weather was cool and damp, and we were threatened with cold, wet, windy weather for our entire “holiday” – lovely driving weather!

We loaded up the kids, clothes, snacks, cameras, maps, amusements for the kids and dropped in to the local shops for some last minute food items, then off up the freeway we headed.

We turned off at Keith and headed down towards Mt Gambier. As we were running quite late, we wouldn’t be able to stop at Naracoorte Caves, so made the decision to go to Tantanoola Caves in the morning as they were only 35km from Mt Gambier, rather than the 100km to Naracoorte. It was dark by the time we got to Mt Gambier, so it was fun looking for our accommodation in the almost dark. We found it fairly easily, a 2 bedroom apartment. It was very comfortable with a Queen bed, 2 single beds, DVD player, chocolates and real coffee! Then the decision of what to have for dinner. DH and I decided on Fasta Pasta, which ended up being one of the slowest takeaways I’ve ever experienced. The kids had Hungry Jacks – they have an Ice Age 2 promotion on at the moment where you buy a kid’s meal and choose one of 4 parts of a slide, with accompanying character (Diego, Manny, Sid or Scrat).

Saturday 17 April 2004

I came home from hospital today.

The last week has seen me hooked up to a drip a lot of the time, with fluids and antibiotics. What a pain when I heeded to go to the loo! I had to ring the bell to get disconnected, then reconnected. The spinning was very violent from left to right, so it was a good thing that the walls were solid and that I stayed in bed most of the time. Any movement resulted in wild spinning.

After a brain scan and visit from an ENT specialist, they decided I was suffering from Vestibular Neuronitis, or inflammation of the balance nerve. It’s cause is viral and it can take several weeks to get back to normal – oh joy! I don’t ever recall feeling as debilitated as with this little number. It was just coincidence that it happened at the same time as my recovery from surgery.

The long and winding road

Before I start, please make sure you’re seated comfortably with a drink in hand.

For the first time in almost 8 years, we’re going on holidays! The last time we went anywhere (that wasn’t for work) is while I was pregnant with H. Are your teeth back in and have you picked your jaw up from the floor?

This will also (of course) be our first “family” holiday.

What have we decided to do? I shudder at the thought, but we’re going on a driving holiday to Melbourne, taking our time and the scenic route on the way over (The Great Ocean Road). I have rocks in my head – well there’s precious little of anything else in there to plenty of room for geological specimens.

So when and for how long are we going? Next week and for around a week. I’ve been working on the “must sees” now have to organize accommodation, thank goodness for last minute discounts.

OK our list of “must sees” includes the Naracoorte Caves, Blue Lake (extinct volcano filled with water), 12 Apostles (rock formations in the sea along the coast), a tree top walk, surfing beaches, trams, trains (may be a steam train too), markets, Sovereign Hill (a recreation of a gold mining town of the 1850s). There are other things of interest in Melbourne.

Must takes; amusements for the kids, dvds, cameras (of course), mp3 players, batter charges (for every device), breakfast items, snacks, scrapbooks for the kids, reading books for DH and I,

I’m sure ear plugs should rate a mention here too.

These feet weren’t made for walking

Took the boys to school then dropped the car in for servicing. I walked home (around 2.5km) and boy am I paying for yesterday!

I’ve finally made a doctors appointment for my 2 yearly pap, get spots checked out and get something done about my heel spur which is driving me nuts again. I couldn’t get in until Thursday. Hopefully she’ll give me another script for anti inflammatories and I’ll be a bit more mobile should we eventually decide to and actually go on holidays next week

I’ve been spending a bit of time the last few days going through out holiday options – hopefully I’m getting somewhere.


Saturday 10 April 2004

I was even worse today, couldn’t keep a thing down (food or water) and still had violent spins.

Come evening, I thought to myself that the situation wasn’t improving so I phoned my surgeon – he was away for Easter. He suggested I go into the hospital, which we did, once BIL and SIL were able to keep an eye on the kids.

I couldn’t stand to have my eyes open or move my head.

They put a drip in, well eventually got it in as I was quite dehydrated, took blood, etc. They found I had an infection starting up so put me on antibiotics, anti nausea drugs and admitted me. It was late by the time they wheeled me up to the ward. I had a private room in the old part of the hospital, with share facilities. There were a lot of elderly patients there, some of whom were quite loud and hard of hearing.

Whip and snip, rub and scrub!

It’s a lovely day out today and we have a green refuse collection tomorrow, so it’s time to tend to the back lawn. It was in dire need of mowing (DH was going to do it a few weeks ago) and edging (DH talked about that even longer ago).

I got the whipper snipper out and did the edges. I think I drew the short straw, it would have been quicker to mow the thing and let DH do the edges. He was rather surprised at how bad they were… well hello!

Anyway. They’re done now and so am I! DH mowed it late afternoon with the help of the boys.

DH and the boys have been moving the firewood around under shelter ready for when the cooler weather kicks in.

The car goes in for it’s 80,000 service (big bucks) tomorrow, so it was time to give it a wash. Pesky little splattered insects were still stuck all over the front – out with the polish!


Friday 9 April 2004

Good Friday

I woke up feeling a bit dizzy today and not wanting to do a thing. I lay on the sofa all day.

The dizziness and nausea got worse. I couldn’t drink or eat anything. The dizziness was very violent, with my eyes spinning around wildly.

I tried a couple of the frozen tubes used for rehydrating, but that didn’t help much.

Domesticity

It was a pretty dull domestic day today, did some washing, went grocery shopping, managed some cleaning.


Thursday 8 April 2004

I went home today. We’ll need to keep an eye on any fluid build up and get that checked.

Two little ducks went out one day…

…22 years ago and got married.

Yes, 22 years! Some say you get less for murder. I wonder where the time has gone. My mum kindly pointed out that it’s only 3 years until our silver wedding anniversary – thanks mum!

As both kids were at school, we took the opportunity to have lunch out. We dropped into “Lenderheide” and had lunch “under glass” in the café style area. We indulged in main courses, washed down with a glass of sparkling shiraz, and dessert accompanied by coffee. It was lovely to sit down to a meal that (a) I didn’t cook and (b) with only adult company. DH even said that we should do it more often! We’ll see.

H has finally lost this top tooth. Just about all of his permanent teeth (8 so far) have come through behind his baby teeth, pushing them outwards – not a very attractive look, poor kid. DH, J and H were playing with the basketball outside, and H copped it fair on the cheek/mouth area – good bye tooth! There was blood and some tears, but that didn’t last long. I guess the thought of the tooth fairy visiting was enough to brighten his day again.


Wednesday 7 April 2004

Happy 20th Anniversary.

I went for a walk outside, it was nice. I bought DH, or probably more accurately us, a Swarovski ice bucket with champagne bottle and 2 classes – another keepsake for our corner cupboard. I didn’t get flowers, nothing. I suppose he thought I’d been given enough the last week or so by others.

Tuesday 6 April 2004

My surgeon came to tell me that we’d gotten all the cancer and the hormone receptor status was positive. We’re dealing with grade 2 cancer (usually grade 3 at my age, so I’m very thankful) so all good results. He’ll get the oncologist to drop in and see me. This was set for Tuesday around 8pm – it will be a late night!

Felt much better today with a “normal” appetite and I ate well. I drank 1 litre today and 1l overnight of water.

Mum and Dad got worried when the bar on calls was still up in the morning.

It’s my choice as to when I go home. I had help showering again today (my back) but I’m getting better. The drains are starting to “bite” a bit so I take some panadol.

Monday 5 April 2004

Still felt light headed and a bit nauseus. Had a little breakfast. Ate a little lunch (scotch broth and a little roast beef). Late afternoon whatever was in my stomach came up again – I almost forced myself to vomit as I was feeling so bad.

A school mum dropped in briefly to say “hi”, I wasn’t feeling very well, woosey, etc. She brought me a lovely Russ bear, he’s soft and gorgeous.

I put a hold on all calls as I couldn’t cope with talking let alone listening.

SIL got in just in time. I said I was a bit the worse for wear, but OK.

Squish, Zzzap! Prod, Poke…

Today was my annual mammogram and 6 monthly check up with my surgeon.

After dropping the boys at school, I went and had a quiet coffee, followed by some quiet time and reading in the Himeji Japanese garden, well it would have been quiet except for a bus load of tourists and another bus load of school kids.

I arrived early for my mammo only to find that they’d shifted the breast clinic across the other side of the car park. I still arrived in enough time. I was told that the gap payment would be up to $200 – yikes!

They went to the cupboard and got the BIG plates out for me – saved trying to squish my well endowed rightie under small plates, or having to take extra images. After being zapped from the top, side and another angle. It was over quickly and without much discomfort. They checked them out and told me I could go. The gap ended up being $90, that’s $30 for each piece of plastic sheet!

I went and had a quiet lunch and relaxed ahead of my surgeon appointment. This whole thing is nerve wracking, although this year is better than last year for me.

I arrived early, and surprise, surprise, found that all the surgeons had moved, although thankfully it was only next door while renovations are carried out on their building. I was beginning to think everyone wanted to avoid me!

My blood tests showed everything normal, but they are not infallible, no test is. My mammo was fine too. So things are as good as they could be at this stage.

Depending on how my blood test for hormones comes back (whether I’m actually in menopause or still on the edge), he may switch me over to arimidex in October. By then I would have had 2 years of tamoxifen. If the understated joint pain is too much to handle, I have the option of going back to tamoxifen.

Now I get to wind down for about 5 months until the next round in late September.


Sunday 4 April 2004

Woke feeling a bit nauseus and woosey. Had spaghetti for breakfast. Was a bit in lala land, not being able to handle much noise or look at much (dizzy)

Breakfast came back up late morning/lunch time. Some of the liquid had been absorbed as it was a bit solid. Had jab in right thigh – OUCH, stung badly!

Didn’t eat lunch or dinner and drank very little.

Another Day

The kids were up at 5.15am (the first time) this morning - groan!

J was feeling much better today, thankfully, although we had a quiet day at home.


Saturday 3 April 2004

Drank 1 litre of water overnight and needed bedpan at 9.30pm, 1am and 5.45am – fun time peeing while laying down! Had a hard time at 9.30 until DH phoned to take my mind off things – found it easier with knees bent up.

Didn’t get much sleep, mainly dozed through the night and laid there with my eyes shut. Had blinds opened so I could see outside and watch he day dawn. I’m not feeling sore unless the area is touched, but a bit stiff. Have no nausea this time (apparently thanks to the anaesthetist who re-jigged the drugs).

Sat bed up slowly to avoid dizziness and slowly are fruit and 2 pieces of toast, 1 with marg, one with vegemite. That all went OK. Nurses asked whether I wanted a wash or shower, initially I said wash, but decided on a shower – used the toilet for wee – so much better. 1 of the nurses helped me shower, got the bits I couldn’t reach and my back. Used hairdryer on the dressings.

My surgeon arrived at around 10.30am and said everything went well, with nothing unexpected happening. Pathology results will take another 48 hours. He’ll be in on Monday. My drip can come out. He’s left a message for a medical oncologist to try and get him in on Monday morning. Drains will stay 3-4 more days.

A huge white vase of pink tiger lilies and a vase of roses arrived today.

MIL phoned, I assured her I was fine and in high spirits.

I’m starting to feel a bit worse for wear so will need to rest before checking mail and sending thank yous where I can. Lunch will arrive soon. Carrot soup, roast lamb, potatoes, cauliflower au gratin, carrots, fruit salad, roll.

SIL phoned, told her all was OK.

My brother came in for a while to say “hi”. DH and the boys arrived – the boys are being right terrors today and are the whole time they’re here.

Ate dinner. BP checked 145/65. I’ll ask for painkillers later so I can sleep and allow me more free movement.

Mum phoned, told her all was going well. She said she has her head around it now.

The Meltdown

So daylight saving is over for another summer, now for the fun of adjusting the kids’ time clocks. They have been waking early as it is, hopefully the transition will be fast and painless – I can dream can’t I? I have fond memories of years pre children when I thought the best part of daylight saving was the end as I got to rest in for an extra hour, boy how the tide has changed in the last 7 years. It’s probably the part I dislike the most. I really do wish J would take notice of the time on the clock in the mornings, but he’s a “once I’m up, I’m up, and so is everyone else” type of kid.

J woke up a bit out of sorts, had quite a bit of water to drink, then a little milk. Well I think the milk acted like a detonator as up it all came, all over him, the sofa and DH’s ebay stock! We put him in the shower and washed him off. He felt a little better afterwards, although rather sooky.

We got an early start to join others from school to see a preview of Ice Age 2 – it’s due to open to the public on 6 April. Quite a few turned up. There were plenty of laughs and H really enjoyed it. J really didn’t want to be there and sat on DH’s lap most of the time.

A sausage sizzle followed at a playground, J still wasn’t feeling very energetic.

J’s temperature was up quite high (37C under his arm) so we gave him a dose of panadol. He settled well and had a restful night.


Friday 2 April 2004

It’s H’s sports day today and I really feel disappointed that I’ll miss it.

Well those pills worked, I woke with a start at 6.25am. My breakfast had been delivered, Turned TV on to catch any latest news and ate brekky (cornflakes, cold milk, OJ, 1 piece of toast with vegemite and some stewed pears). Drank the rest of my cordial to finish off the jug I got last night.

When I woke, my eyes were quite sore. I have a dose of the semi-runs, but not too bad. DH arrived H’s a bit out of sorts as his routine has been sent into a spin due to Sports Day. He says kids have been fine, they lapped up the baked beans last night. Everyone has been calling him asking him for updates. Those at school have also been “collaring” him.

Afternoons have been relatively easy, but mornings it’s been difficult to avoid people. He gave H’s teacher the note I wrote, she will also forward it to the Director. He brought phone charger in for me, and can collect it after sports day. H will be happy to drop in and say “hi” for 5 mins.

I have my fashionable gown to put on after I shower – probably around 11am – I want to wash my hair.

J had been happy playing with his cars and having the occasional hug and kiss.

DH and J left around 10am to try to find a park and get to sports day. They’ll drop in a little later. DH says it takes him 3 times longer to get everything organised for the kids that it does for me. He might stock my fridge up, well maybe.

It’s a nice day outside, cloudy, but good light. No rain is forecast, so should be a good day for sports. The program sounds interesting. H is on the “Silver Stars” team (4 teams – gold stars, silver stars, pink smilies and gold smilies) I hope they don’t crowd DH with questions and talk, he’ll hate thatl

Not sure whether it’s the lack of sleep from the previous night or those tablets, but I’m feeling a bit wonky today. Haven’t heard who’s on my surgery team today – assume it will be similar to Monday. I’m sure I have questions for my surgeon, but I can’ remember them – I need another list!!

11.05am went for 20 min walk outside to get some air – it was nice.

Got back around 11.25am and had my shower. I stood looking at my ugly body in the mirror – what have I done to myself over the years?

I’m mourning the loss of my boob, but it has done its job and done it well – time to say goodbye, old friend, no matter how difficult it is.

In the shower questions are racing through my head – I’d better get and write them down.

The water feels wonderful over my hair, face and body. Packed up jarmies and undies I’ve been wearing – I will need them back tomorrow (Sunday am latest and that won’t be possible) clean, whether wet or dry, I can find somewhere to hang them up.

Questions like: you found a lump that wasn’t on the mammogram, what are the chances of there being something similar in the right breast? Most questions will wait until afterwards.

Anaesthetist came in at around 1-1.15pm.

Breast care nurse (BCN) came in around 12.30pm to talk about prostheses. Someone will be in on Monday morning to show me bras and soft prostheses

H had a god time at sports day. He did everything except the sack race and was not pushed to participate.

Kids turned ratty around 12.30-1pm. DH left around 1.30pm. He was here while the BCN and anaesthetist. My BCN answered a lot of questions, although most won’t be answered until after today.

It’s 1.40pm and I have to admit, I’m a bit nervous. I know everything will be fine, it’s just the thoughts that go through my brain.

1.48pm I phoned to thank some friends for their flowers – pink tiger lilies, they’re lovely.

My hair is tied up and now I wait, still rather nervously.

DH has finally said we need a new phone! At last! He has trouble hearing people on it. Looks like new phone system next week!

Well, it’s 2pm, so it won’t be long now.

I left here around 2.05-2.15pm (quickly phone DH to let him know). Didn’t have long to wait in the holding area. Joked with the orderly and nurse, well I have to cope somehow, even if they all think I’m crazy.

Into Theatre 3 this time (1 last time) – everything is in reverse of other theatre. Looks like there’ll be 6 plus me in there, assuming my surgeon and the assisting surgeon are scrubbing up.

They put a line in and a couple of dots on my back to monitor me. The anaesthesia was started, got metho/metallic taste and said “night all”.

Came to in recovery about 25 mins after going there. Top of chest left side was sore so have pain relief (pethadine – same as Monday). Came back to my room around 5-5.15pm. Very groggy. Had a drink of water.

April Fool's

Nothing of April Fool's significance hit the papers here today, so I ventured overseas to see what pranks were pulled.

My top pick was from the UK was about the penguin spotted waddling along the banks of the Thames in central London. Of course it was a first and came hot on the heels of tragic tale of the whale what swam up the Thames recently. Of course there was the obligatory photo and a wonderful map illustrating the penguin’s journey from the South Pole.

Some “expert” claimed it was of the “Jackass” breed, that brays like a donkey.


Thursday 1 April 2004

I watched dawn and the cloud creep over the hills, thus obliterating the sky. I put TV on at around 6am.

Had breakfast – cornflakes, OJ, baked beans on toast, bacon, stewed apples.

Watched TV a little more, phoned DH to say I needed phone cable and connector so I could check mail as the phone cables were sealed into the phone.

Had shower and got into own jarmies.

DH came in with J after dropping H at school.

I rested most of the day.

Had roast chicken and veg, pea and ham soup, fruit salad, bread roll and cup of tea for lunch.

Sent emails in the afternoon.

My surgeon arrived. I asked if we had a time and he said around 2pm, so fasting from 7am. Yes I should have a ‘flu shot due to decreased immunity when having chemo. All up, it should take about 1 hour, plus recovery time. I asked for strong anti-nausea drugs early on this time – he agreed. Of course he asked how I was and I said that I think I have my head around it now, although as he knows, the situation is not ideal.

I asked what type of cancer it was (meaning slow, fast?) Not sure if the question was worded right. He said Type 2, would never be type 1 due to my age and most my age would be type 3, so I’m lucky. Some tissue from the side will go (I think) as well as what’s left on the front.

Watched a bit of “Notting Hill”. DH arrived with the boys at about 3.45pm. Had hugs with H and J – they were a bit ratty while there.

I got up to go to the loo, carefully collecting my precious drains and somehow managed to pull out the under breast one and didn’t feel it. Called for help. They checked it, there was a little still coming out but not much and it will be obsolete tomorrow anyway. They put a “patch” over it after removing the stitch that had been holding it in. I think my BCS scar would have been quite neat!

Went through H’s word list and communication book – he’s been doing really well, although there was one day his teacher said he was “loud”. She had written in some notes of best wishes. I wrote a thank you note to her. She was hoping to drop in tomorrow after Sports Day, but I’ll be in surgery then.

DH took the boys home for baked beans on toast for tea.

A breast care nurse came in for a bit more of a chat.

I had dinner, leek and potato soup, quiche lorraine, salad, icecream, bread and butter, and filled out my “light” breakfast order with a note saying I needed it early so I could begin fasting.

Mum and Dad phoned I said I was OK with it all.

Went and got myself a fresh jug of cordial, glass and a couple of straws. Went for a walk downstairs, outside, sat a while in the waiting area, then came back upstairs – it took a bit out of me.

I sorted out some emails, watched a little TV – had “Queen Mary 2” on Getaway, the largest cruise ship ever built – 44 double decker buses long!

Told staff I thought I’d try 2 sleeping tablets tonight – was suggested to me earlier. Have been writing in my diary for the last hour or so trying to record the happenings of the last 1.5 days.

Asked for sleeping tablets at 10.30pm. Took 1 at 10.30 and one at 11.05pm, put earplugs in.

Let them celebrate!

Our youngest nephew married last year, with his older brother assuming the role of best man. His speech was in the form of a poem and absolutely priceless. The best man and his parents (BIL and SIL) had thoughts of getting it all typed up, framed and presented to them on their first wedding anniversary. I offered to put something together for them. I frizzed around with different ideas and layouts, drew some up with a graphics package and searched the web for suitable graphics, etc.

Well, their first anniversary is in early April, so it was time to “get my skates on”. I promised that it would be ready by the end of this week. Old layouts and most ideas were discarded and new ones drawn up, (along with the associated shopping for card, ribbons, paper fasteners, etc), and finalised. Or so I thought. There always has to be one little hurdle to be overcome. What I didn’t take into consideration was that our printers would only print a certain length of page, even though it was possible to work on a very long, probably endless page, so on Thursday night I had to revamp everything.

The good news is that I finished it tonight! It’s 640mmx450mm (roughly 25”x18”) and made from a combination of white parchment, dark blue linen weave, vellum, silver card, organza ribbons (pink, and white with silver hearts), silver mini studs, pink and silver heart studs and a piece of photo paper.

I like to keep a record of everything I do, but for some reason, forgot to get the camera out. Lousy brain again!

Now it’s off to deliver it to BIL and SIL so they can arrange to get it framed. I hope to get a pic of the finished article.


Wednesday 31 March 2004

It’s the last day of March!

As I was awake at 4 I decided to read my book “Blowfly” by Patricia Cornwell, for a while.

5.20am get another jug of cordial (went through a jug overnight). The air is very dry and giving me a stuffy nose.

Breakfast – scrambled eggs and bacon, cornflakes, OJ.

My surgeon came in at around 8.30am. Awaiting pathology results, possibly late today. One step at a time. I’ll probably have questions after we know what we’re dealing with.

DH dropped in while J was at a play cafe after Kindergym. Gran and Pa are looking after him.

DH brought his computer with him and set it up for me. Collected email. Worked on some stuff. Started to install extra fonts as here were many not included on DH’s notebook.

DH left to pick J up and take him home.

Had lunch – roast port with gravy and apple sauce, roasted carrots and potatoes and peas, fruit salad.

Mum and Dad arrived.

A friend came to visit brought 10 pink roses and a card.

Mum and Dad left at around 4pm to go home.

DH and the boys came in and left about 5.30-5.45pm. Had dinner – beef schnitzel with chips and salad.

BIL and SIL came in around 6.30pm with flowers.

My surgeon arrived while they were there. He asked them to leave the room. He told me it was both good and not so good news. The top margins were clear, but where he found and removed another nodule under the nipple was not. It seems that the tumour started in several areas and joined together to form a large mass – the extra nodule tended to confirm this.

So we go back to surgery Friday afternoon to remove the rest of the left breast. As far as the lymph nodes are concerned, 16 were removed, 6 were involved. He asked me whether I’d like him to call DH, I said yes. When he first walked in he asked me how I was, I said “nervous”. I told him I was half expecting the news to be “negative”, but it was still a shock.

While he spoke to DH, I spoke to a breast care nurse with SIL present.

BIL and SIL offered to mind the boys while DH came in to sit/talk to me. He wanted to get them into bed first.

BIL and SIL left and DH arrived around 8-8.30pm. We went downstairs and sat in the waiting area and talked. He left around 9.45pm.

At around 10-10.30 they said they had a private room for me (18) ironic, isn’t it?

We moved all my stuff from bed 3 to 18. I had a bowel movement!

The nurse who helped me move has 2 boys 2 years and 8 months, and asked me about H’s school as she’d seen him in uniform earlier.

They suggested I try sleeping tablets (keep you asleep, not put you to sleep) and a couple of panadol. I took them around 11pm. I slept until 2.30am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I wrote for a little while then watched “Two Weeks Notice” on the computer. I was tired by 5.15am, but could not sleep. I lay in bed and waited for dawn. Of course my mind was still rushing.

The hormone receptor status of my tumour would not be known until Tuesday.