The Meltdown

So daylight saving is over for another summer, now for the fun of adjusting the kids’ time clocks. They have been waking early as it is, hopefully the transition will be fast and painless – I can dream can’t I? I have fond memories of years pre children when I thought the best part of daylight saving was the end as I got to rest in for an extra hour, boy how the tide has changed in the last 7 years. It’s probably the part I dislike the most. I really do wish J would take notice of the time on the clock in the mornings, but he’s a “once I’m up, I’m up, and so is everyone else” type of kid.

J woke up a bit out of sorts, had quite a bit of water to drink, then a little milk. Well I think the milk acted like a detonator as up it all came, all over him, the sofa and DH’s ebay stock! We put him in the shower and washed him off. He felt a little better afterwards, although rather sooky.

We got an early start to join others from school to see a preview of Ice Age 2 – it’s due to open to the public on 6 April. Quite a few turned up. There were plenty of laughs and H really enjoyed it. J really didn’t want to be there and sat on DH’s lap most of the time.

A sausage sizzle followed at a playground, J still wasn’t feeling very energetic.

J’s temperature was up quite high (37C under his arm) so we gave him a dose of panadol. He settled well and had a restful night.


Friday 2 April 2004

It’s H’s sports day today and I really feel disappointed that I’ll miss it.

Well those pills worked, I woke with a start at 6.25am. My breakfast had been delivered, Turned TV on to catch any latest news and ate brekky (cornflakes, cold milk, OJ, 1 piece of toast with vegemite and some stewed pears). Drank the rest of my cordial to finish off the jug I got last night.

When I woke, my eyes were quite sore. I have a dose of the semi-runs, but not too bad. DH arrived H’s a bit out of sorts as his routine has been sent into a spin due to Sports Day. He says kids have been fine, they lapped up the baked beans last night. Everyone has been calling him asking him for updates. Those at school have also been “collaring” him.

Afternoons have been relatively easy, but mornings it’s been difficult to avoid people. He gave H’s teacher the note I wrote, she will also forward it to the Director. He brought phone charger in for me, and can collect it after sports day. H will be happy to drop in and say “hi” for 5 mins.

I have my fashionable gown to put on after I shower – probably around 11am – I want to wash my hair.

J had been happy playing with his cars and having the occasional hug and kiss.

DH and J left around 10am to try to find a park and get to sports day. They’ll drop in a little later. DH says it takes him 3 times longer to get everything organised for the kids that it does for me. He might stock my fridge up, well maybe.

It’s a nice day outside, cloudy, but good light. No rain is forecast, so should be a good day for sports. The program sounds interesting. H is on the “Silver Stars” team (4 teams – gold stars, silver stars, pink smilies and gold smilies) I hope they don’t crowd DH with questions and talk, he’ll hate thatl

Not sure whether it’s the lack of sleep from the previous night or those tablets, but I’m feeling a bit wonky today. Haven’t heard who’s on my surgery team today – assume it will be similar to Monday. I’m sure I have questions for my surgeon, but I can’ remember them – I need another list!!

11.05am went for 20 min walk outside to get some air – it was nice.

Got back around 11.25am and had my shower. I stood looking at my ugly body in the mirror – what have I done to myself over the years?

I’m mourning the loss of my boob, but it has done its job and done it well – time to say goodbye, old friend, no matter how difficult it is.

In the shower questions are racing through my head – I’d better get and write them down.

The water feels wonderful over my hair, face and body. Packed up jarmies and undies I’ve been wearing – I will need them back tomorrow (Sunday am latest and that won’t be possible) clean, whether wet or dry, I can find somewhere to hang them up.

Questions like: you found a lump that wasn’t on the mammogram, what are the chances of there being something similar in the right breast? Most questions will wait until afterwards.

Anaesthetist came in at around 1-1.15pm.

Breast care nurse (BCN) came in around 12.30pm to talk about prostheses. Someone will be in on Monday morning to show me bras and soft prostheses

H had a god time at sports day. He did everything except the sack race and was not pushed to participate.

Kids turned ratty around 12.30-1pm. DH left around 1.30pm. He was here while the BCN and anaesthetist. My BCN answered a lot of questions, although most won’t be answered until after today.

It’s 1.40pm and I have to admit, I’m a bit nervous. I know everything will be fine, it’s just the thoughts that go through my brain.

1.48pm I phoned to thank some friends for their flowers – pink tiger lilies, they’re lovely.

My hair is tied up and now I wait, still rather nervously.

DH has finally said we need a new phone! At last! He has trouble hearing people on it. Looks like new phone system next week!

Well, it’s 2pm, so it won’t be long now.

I left here around 2.05-2.15pm (quickly phone DH to let him know). Didn’t have long to wait in the holding area. Joked with the orderly and nurse, well I have to cope somehow, even if they all think I’m crazy.

Into Theatre 3 this time (1 last time) – everything is in reverse of other theatre. Looks like there’ll be 6 plus me in there, assuming my surgeon and the assisting surgeon are scrubbing up.

They put a line in and a couple of dots on my back to monitor me. The anaesthesia was started, got metho/metallic taste and said “night all”.

Came to in recovery about 25 mins after going there. Top of chest left side was sore so have pain relief (pethadine – same as Monday). Came back to my room around 5-5.15pm. Very groggy. Had a drink of water.