Wednesday 29 September 2004

CMF3 – Day 8 – LAST IV!!!!!!!

Appointment with onc at 12 noon. The boys went to Grandma’s.

Had a little chat to a woman who has been seeing onc for 6 years, She had breast cancer in her left breast, as did her mother – her daughter had it in her right breast. Her cancer has spread to other parts of her body over the years. She has a good attitude – you accept it, treat it and get on with life.

My onc was running a little late today. I got into the clinic at around 1pm. He wrote out a script for 4 ondansetron, just in case, and 1 year’s supply of tamoxifen. I shouldn’t have to see him again. My radiation onc will check me once a week during radiotherapy, then my suregon takes over again.

I start taking HT when I start radiotherapy. Menopause symptoms may be worse at the start of HT, periods may come back, but may not, hopefully not.

I should start feeling better and more energetic over the next few weeks.

The “girls” at the clinic enjoyed the brownies I baked! One even said that they cured her headache! LOL

I had a little snooze this afternoon, as did the boys, eventually – had to wake them after 5pm and they weren’t that happy and took ages to settle tonight.

Tuesday 28 September 2004

CMF3 – Day 7

Picked up prescriptions for ondansetron and cyclophosphamide today – these should see me though!

And the verdict?

The closer the appointment got this morning, the more edgy I became and yes there were watery eyes involved. I hate the way the lead up to these appointments makes me feel.

Well, the news is, that my test results were all totally normal, and there were no unexpected lumps and bumps. He's very pleased with the way things are going. The only dampener, if you can call it that, is that my hormone results are all over the place, some would put me in menopause, some wouldn't. My levels are spiking from time to time – oh joy! This means I'll be staying on tamoxifen for the 5 years (3 more years) instead of changing. I suppose it's better the "devil you know". I'll be cranking up the aircon this summer! At least I won't have to deal with the crippling joint pain that seems to come along with Arimidex.

So it's NED, see you in 6 months with blood tests and mammograms in hand, and Merry Christmas! And, a whole lot of relief, I might add.


Monday 27 September 2004

CMF3 – Day 6

“Slept” late, although not as late as the last couple of days.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to the doc I go...

Yes, it's that time again, time for my 6 monthly checkup (tommorrow morning). I had blood drawn on Friday so all the tests could be run. They have added an oestrogen test this time to see if my levels have fallen enough to consider me as being post menopausal. If it hadn't been for the Period From Hell 2 months ago, I wouldn't have any doubt, but that PFH may have thrown a spanner in the works.

It's now been 2.5 years and I still get nervous (well scared) before these appointments, but I think it's getting a little easier as time passes - I've only been in semi panic mode for a day or 2 this time, instead of a couple of weeks.

If I'm now deemed post menopausal, then my medication may be changed to an aromatose inhibitor, which has shown better disease free results thus far. Of course nothing comes without cost. I may trade my hot flushes for crippling joint pain, increased cholesterol, osteoporosis, etc, then again I might get to keep my hot flushes as well.

I started reading the list of side effects for both the meds I'm on and its potential replacement - I really don't want to go there, but one has to consider the price of possibly increasing the chances of staying disease free. Well it may all come to nothing if my hormones are still too active.

Fingers crossed for NED!


Sunday 26 September 2004

CMF3 – Day 5

“Slept in” until around 10 am, I’m very tired. Didn’t sleep that well, had disturbed sleep – hot flushes (all body).

Faith

Faith is an interesting word. Simplistically, it can mean having a belief in a higher being, it can mean looking inwards to gain strength when it’s needed. So having faith doesn’t necessarily mean you have religious beliefs. Faith = Belief, whether self or external.

I grew up in a Christian home. I went to Sunday School. I went to church. I ended my education at a Christian private school. I then left “religion” behind. I got married in a garden with a marriage celebrant, and the only times I set foot in a church since have been for other people’s weddings, baptisms and funerals. The one thing I have kept, are the values instilled in me as part of my Christian upbringing. This is one reason my boys attend a Christian private school. Education is not merely academics, it’s the whole person.

I don’t believe in a supreme being, I don’t believe in an afterlife. I don’t begrudge others for having their beliefs. Faith is a very personal issue.

Life is full of highs and lows. To thank God for the highs, and question your God why things go wrong might sit well with some, but it, like “it’s in God’s plan” or “God doesn’t give you any more than you can handle” is a whole load of crap to me.

Shit happens – you need to be able to collect your thoughts, get it right in your head and get on with your life, whether by yourself or with help from others.

As someone once said to me “you’re here for a good time, not a long time”. You have one life, it’s short and it’s (mostly) up to you what you make it. Enjoy it!


Saturday 25 September 2004

CMF3 – Day 4

“Slept in” until around 10 am, I’m very tired. Didn’t sleep that well, had disturbed sleep – hot flushes (all body).

Friday 24 September 2004

CMF3 – Day 3

Everything seems to be going OK at present.

Went shopping this morning to buy summer jarmies for the boys and some bits to keep them amused over the holidays.

Today marked the end of Term 3.

Had heaps of H’s stuff to bring home (taken down from the classroom).

I offered to do some Christmas things with the kids (make tree decorations from foam balls.

I did pickup today.

Thursday 23 September 2004

CMF3 – Day 2

Today went quite well. Taking ondansetron morning and night.

Went to Harbourtown and bought myself a couple of pairs of summer shoes (sandals) and paid under $75 for the 2! Also bought another sheet set for J and one for DH and I (all white poly/cotton). I couldn’t get any blankets though, unless I wanted 1 lilac, 1 fawn!

Wednesday 22 September 2004

CMF3 – Day 1 – Start of last cycle!

Appointment was at 11.45am. My onc briefly through the hormone therapy and talked about tamoxifen. I will be on it for 5 years. Hot flushes might be more of a problem, still don’t know whether menopause is temp or permanent, if I was 48 he would say permanent, but not necessarily at 44. I have to be very mindful of blood clots although they’re more prevalent in travel, surgery, etc. Also the risk of endometrial cancer is higher so watch out for any odd bleeding and pains, etc. He will write out a script for me next week, and unless I have problems, I probably won’t need to see him again as I will be covered by my radiation onc and surgeon.

Mentioned my foot and he suggested going to my GP about it. Also mentioned the taste/smell issues of saline on the last 2 visits.

He’s pleased with how I’ve handled it.

Next visit he will discuss more about hormone therapy.

I had same IV anti-nausea meds as last time (the same as with AC)

We were out at around 12.30pm. DH brought me home, I crashed on the sofa, he went and picked up J from Grandma’s brought him home, put him to bed, then picked H up from school.

Tuesday 21 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 28

Tinea seems to have cleared up!

Went shopping in the city this morning and bought myself some summer clothes, only have to find shoes now, I hope.

I totally wore myself out and my feet were killing me – I will have to mention my right heal to my onc tomorrow, although I think it is more a weight related problem.

The house of cough and snot

H went back to school after spending most of the last 5 days in bed. J had a day off in bed last Friday. Thankfully he seems to have missed the worst of it.

Why is it that when I make decisions and plans for my health, that something comes along to destroy them, or at least derail them severely? Damned ‘flu!


Monday 20 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 27

Tinea seems to be improving quite a bit, thank goodness.

Went to the playground with the parents’ group mums today as it was forecast to be 26C today. It was a lovely day (got to 27.6) and 30C is forecast for tomorrow. If it gets that high, it will be the hottest 21st Sept on record!

Sunday 19 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 26

Wore my new boob for the first time today and couldn’t wait to get it off – it’s been over 6 months since I’ve worn a bra with any sort of support.

Saturday 18 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 25

Down to once a day with Lamisil.

Went into Myer and was fitted for new bra and prosthesis – it took over 1.5 hours! The bra is an 18E and the prosthesis is a size 12.

Thursday 16 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 23

Went grocery shopping, took Adelaide Radiotherapy Centre bill in to Medibank for forwarding on to Medicare. Also renewed ondancetron prescription ready for next week.

Wednesday 15 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 22

I have tinea back on my left foot, around the little toe. I’m treating it twice a day with Lamisil.

Tuesday 14 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 21

Happy 70th Birthday Mum!

H’s school had a cake day to raise money for the Beslan children in Russia. I made some blueberry muffins.

The dreaded lurgy

We’re all suffering various stages of influenza type virus – high temps, shivers, whole body aches, headaches, a cough to wake the dead… Our home is not a happy or safe place to be if you want to remain well.

Sunday 12 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 19

We all went to the local Show in the morning. The weather was lovely.

On the way we stopped in at the station in time to see the Barwell Bull pulling out for it’s run to Woolshed Flat. We chased it a little, managed to get in front of it and stopped to watch it pass at one of the crossings off the main road.

Ran into some of the locals I hadn’t seen in many years. The boys had fun on the jumping castles. They each ate 3 sausages with bread and sauce for lunch.

We went over to the railway station to try and get a look at the steam train, but the engine was up at the sheds. We had an unexpected invitation for a short ride to the sheds and back as they were putting the carriages away from the Barwell Bull. The kids had a ball. My brother has offered to pay for us all to go on the train sometime.

We ended up leaving a bit later than we were planning at around 2pm. We shared the driving and stopped about half way for toilets and eats.

We arrived home just after 7pm, so it was a rush to get the kids fed, bathed and into bed.

Happy Birthday to me!

46, yes I’ve hit my late 40’s today. Age has never really worried me. 30 didn’t pose any problems, neither did 40, but there seems to be an enormous leap from 45 to 46. I suppose it could have something to do with being closer to 50 than 40, and 50 seems to be a “magic” number for some reason.

DH took me shopping for my birthday present, an Olympus Digital SLR E500 - we certainly didn't pay that much for it, and we got 2 lenses, 14-45mm and 40-150mm, and a 1gb card and extended warranty thrown in! DH does haggle well, bless him. I’ve wanted a digital SLR for years, but thought it to be more of a pipe dream. I guess it’s my Birthday, Christmas, Birthday Christmas pressy!

I’ve always loved taking photos, now I can get a bit more serious about it again.

Of course we were at one end of town and I was having lunch with my girlfriend at the other end of town. We had some lovely Thai down at the Bay.

We finished off the day with dinner at a family friendly eatery with my girlfriend and her family – 4 adults, 4 kids. It was a lovely end to my day.


Saturday 11 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 18

Happy 44th Birthday to me!

Mum and Dad gave me a scrapbooking set from Readers Digest. DH and the boys gave me an MP3 player with FM transmitter. My brother gave me some money – may buy some spring/summer clothes.

We went out to the farm for a bbq. The mess out there is indescribable. As there was a cool SW breeze, we set up behind the dam wall. There was water in the creek (all covered in grass these days) and some water going into the dam. The boys went for a walk with Pa and enjoyed running up and down the dam banks.

My brother took Dad, the boys and I for a farm tour, up steep hill, down steep dale. I think it all wore the boys out. We made it back to town by around 3pm and J had a sleep.

Mum surprised me with an icecream birthday cake and we surprised her with the cake I made. My brother brought his projector and screen in and he put Lethal Weapon 4 on.

Friday 10 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 17

Picked H up after his lunch and left school at 2pm for the trip to my parents. We had a pit stop about half way for a few minutes. There was a little rain on the way up, heavy in patches. We couldn’t see the hills at all due to rain. We arrived at our destination at around 6.10pm.

The kids traveled well and enjoyed playing with their mini “megasketcher thingies” (can’t think of the right name).

I’d made bolognaise sauce so only needed to heat it and cook some spaghetti to go with it.

Thursday 9 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 16

2.15pm – Surgeon appointment. He’s pleased with how things are going and said I could have December off and come back to see him in January (13th).

One week in September

This has been a week of saying farewell to Aussie icons.


Colin Thiele AC at the age of 85 on 4 Sept 2006


Photo courtesy his personal website

Colin was a renowned and prolific writer and educator. He wrote over 100 books and is probably best remembered for his children’s fiction. His 1963 book “Storm Boy” was made into a film in the 1970. Other notable books which have been made into movies or tv series are; Sun on the Stubble, The Fire in the Stone and Blue Fin. His books often described rural life in Australia particularly the Coorong region of South Australia.

He was made a Companion of the Order of Australia in 1977.

I grew up with his books and remember Storm Boy being made. Who could forget Mr Percival the pelican, “Snook” from Blue Fin, or the 1930’s adventures of Bruno Gunther, the only son of a German immigrant family who settled on a farm in the Barossa Valley in the book “Sun of the Stubble”.

Thank you Mr Thiele from bringing so much joy, especially to children.


Steve Irwin at the age of 44 on 4 Sept 2006


Photo courtesy Wikipedia

Steve may have had a loud, brash, in your face and even possessed a more than a little annoying (especially to Australians) public presence, but he was also a passionate conservationist. He was probably better known overseas than in his home country.

He died after being struck in the chest by a stingray barb, of while filming a documentary in Far North Queensland.

I was never one to be counted amongst his fans, but it’s particularly sad when someone with a young family is taken from us. Much had been written about him by others, so I’ll leave it at that. Farewell Steve.


Peter Brock at the age of 61 on 8 Sept 2006


Photo courtesy Wikipedia

Peter is a motor racing legend. Mention touring cars in this country and you can’t help but think of Peter Brock, especially if you’re a “Holden man”.

Early on in his career, he adopted the number “05”. This was in recognition of the .05 blood alcohol limit. He was still carrying this number on the 8th of September.

Known as Peter Perfect and King of the Mountain. He won the Bathurst 1000 a record 9 times – a record that is most unlikely to be eclipsed since cross entry was banned several years ago.

The UK 'Motor Sport' magazine rated Peter Brock in the top twenty most exciting drivers of all time, a list which included the likes of Senna, Schumacher, Fangio and Nuvolari. A huge accolade. In another recent authoritative UK publication, he was voted the second greatest touring car driver of all time.

In 1997 he set up the Peter Brock Foundation to help those less privileged than himself.

He was an avid vegan and according to Bev his former partner of 28 years, afraid of getting old.

Peter died while competing in a rally near Perth in Western Australia, doing what he loved best – racing. He will remain forever young in our hearts and minds.

Farewell Brocky, and thank you for introducing me to the spectacle that is motor racing, especially touring cars/V8 Supercars and Formula 1.

Tuesday 7 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 14

H had his first shower this morning seeing as he missed out on a bath last night. He didn’t seem to mind it much.

With J’s crappy night last night I decided that I’d set up his bed and get rid of the cot. We had to re-jig the room a little, but it looks OK. Will have to add the box/table once we can get it coated. Put “Bob the Builder” quilt cover sets on the boys’ beds and the love them! They are nice and quiet and hopefully will sleep well.

The room looks not too bad now, but will be better with the “box”.

The Bush Biscuit

No, this has nothing to do with American politics, it’s a South Australian icon in the same vein as Yo yo biscuits, Haighs chocolates, Woodies lemonade and Balfour’s Pies and their ubiquitous (and disgustingly sickly sweet) Frog Cakes.

They are big in dimensions and weigh 50 grams each, are golden brown, oblong and contain basic biscuit ingredients.



Along with frozen Snips, Star Bars and Slippery Sams they were the favoured snack during long summers at the local town swimming pool. At 4 cents each they were a much needed feast after swimming.

Bush biscuits were around in the 1930s and until Arnott’s stopped producing them in 1998, although they were more difficult to find in the latter years.

The SA public has peppered Arnott’s with countless requests for their return over the years, until they recently ran a batch at an interstate plant and transported them to SA. They were placed in a couple of the smaller supermarket chains. There was no advertising, just word of mouth, and they virtually ran out the doors. Of course inflation has seen to a rise in price to around 50 cents each now, but the attraction of their return and memories they bring seem to negate the cost.

And yes, I bought a couple of packs too.

Arnott’s are giving serious thought as to whether they will continue production. Who knows which way they’ll decide to go.


Monday 6 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 13

9.00am - Radiation Oncologist. She went through what was likely to happen and set a start date of 25 October – hoping for 9am appointments. I have to go for a treatment planning session before that – they will let me know when. The whole treatment is likely to cost us around $500 after Medicare coughs up.

H had OT after school. When we got home he as absolutely off the planet so was sent to his room and went to bed. He was asleep before 5.30pm (in his uniform). I changed him into his jarmies at around 9.30pm – his uniform was soaked from perspiration. He slept the rest of the night, although the same could not be said for J. He thought that 4.20am was a good time to come in and want to climb into bed with me, so I didn’t get much more sleep.

I had gotten annoyed with the boys waking so early (6am) so I put the new curtains up (H was so tired he went to sleep without any curtains up at all).

Sunday 5 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 12

We bought J’s bed yesterday and some new curtains yellow stonewash blockout for the boys’ room.

Spring!

Spring is the time of new beginnings
New life unfolds
Some rains have come
But not enough
After yet another droughty winter

It seems the right time
To effect some changes
To my life
They’re well overdue

I need more normality
I need more energy/vitality
I need…

Getting more sleep is a good place to start
I need to go to bed earlier
Before midnight
Not after 2


Wednesday 1 September 2004

CMF2 – Day 8

Spring has sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder where the birdies is!

I had a second dizzy spell this morning (the other one was sometime in the last week). I was fiddling around with something in the back of the van and everything started moving around. It wasn’t near as bad as the problem I had in April, but it was still a bit unsettling.

My appointment is at 11.30, however, they’ve scheduled an extra patient in at that time for a 1 hour appointment, so stand by for a LONG wait. Luckily I got in at around 12.10, so it wasn’t too bad. I told my onc about my dizzy spells, just because it was unusual for me. All seems to be OK – he gave me prescriptions for ondancetron and cyclophosphamide. I mentioned that I thought the anti-nausea treatment was starting to not be as effective, so he prescribed Anzemet again and also some methtrexate to be given IV. I could taste and smell the saline again as it was started – a horrible experience. I had some crackers to take the chemical tastes away.

I took ondancetron at around 5.15pm tonight – here’s hoping that it lasts well after I wake up in the morning.

DH picked H up – he and another child bumped heads today and he will likely have a nasty bruise on the side of his head (in front of his temple) – it is quite red still tonight and sore to touch.